Reasons to be cheerful... 1, 2, 3.

I'm writing this as a bit of an experiment. I had a bad day yesterday. My parents left to go home mid morning and instead of bustling around the house sorting things out, doing a bit of decorating or taking the dog for a walk, I drew the curtains at 10.45am, got a blanket and lay on the sofa ALL DAY watching shite Rom Coms. I ate two bags of sweets; a chicken mayo sandwich and some cold roast potatoes; drank 4 mugs of tea and cried five times.. at approximately 3.30 my

10 hours ago4 min read

Exhausted

I'm struggling. I feel like I'm desperately trying to keep my head above water and yet my body is so tired that I keep bobbing under. I feel drained and shattered into a thousand pieces. I haven't admitted this to myself for so long. I've kept telling myself that I'm doing great and that I'm one of life's survivors... and I am... one of life's survivors that is.. but I am not doing great. My survival technique is to fake it until I make it. I have ever been thus

4 days ago4 min read

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Reasons to be cheerful... 1, 2, 3.

I'm writing this as a bit of an experiment. I had a bad day yesterday. My parents left to go home mid morning and instead of bustling around the house sorting things out, doing a bit of decorating or taking the dog for a walk, I drew the curtains at 10.45am, got a blanket and lay on the sofa ALL DAY watching shite Rom Coms. I ate two bags of sweets; a chicken mayo sandwich and some cold roast potatoes; drank 4 mugs of tea and cried five times.. at approximately 3.30 my

10 hours ago4 min read

Exhausted

I'm struggling. I feel like I'm desperately trying to keep my head above water and yet my body is so tired that I keep bobbing under. I feel drained and shattered into a thousand pieces. I haven't admitted this to myself for so long. I've kept telling myself that I'm doing great and that I'm one of life's survivors... and I am... one of life's survivors that is.. but I am not doing great. My survival technique is to fake it until I make it. I have ever been thus

4 days ago4 min read

Twenty two

I stupidly thought, after the success of Oli's birthday, that our wedding anniversary wouldn't be that bad. I thought, naively, that I would sail through it and be happy for the 21 years and nine months of marital bliss (almost all of the time) that we shared, but no. Grief, as I am finding out, is not the consistent entity that I thought it would be. It is fickle and comes and goes as it pleases. It hides around corners, waiting to ambush you just when you least exp

Jan 243 min read

January.... still.

I'm on the eve of another first. Tomorrow, 24th January, will be Oli and my wedding anniversary. 22 years... if you can count the last three months. And I'm counting them. I have felt no less of being Oli's wife these last few months than in the 21 years and 9 months before that, so I will be 'celebrating' the fact that I, at least, have been married for 22 years. I miss him. I think of him constantly. He is never out of my head - from the moment I wake up to when

Jan 233 min read

Go West!!!

ABOUT ME

Middle aged woman moving to the West Country

Hello. I'm Lara. 55 year old, very recently widowed woman with a little baggage but not much. Bloody love crisps and wine.... and sweets.. but equally love rowing and yoga which helps.

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