There is no doubt that I'm going through a tricky patch at the moment after a relatively good patch. During this relatively good patch, I thought it would be a really great idea to throw a party. Nothing fancy, just some mates in the garden with drinks and snacks. Oli and I loved to throw parties and, even though I say so myself, we were pretty good at it. Every year we would host a Crayfish Lunch where we would go out with my Mum and Dad on the Friday and catch Amer

I thought hit me this morning whilst out on my dog walk with Mary... at some point, this feeling isn't going to get easier, or better, it's just going to stay the same. Directly after Oli's death and during his illness, deep down, I knew that the pain I was going through was going to ease slightly over time. I knew it was never going to disappear completely but I knew that it wouldn't be as raw, gutteral and painful as it was. I knew time would wear away the edges of