Quite unexpectedly, but very wonderfully, I've had a few messages from people I don't know, asking about the blog and the move to Cornwall. It seems that a move such as this, or a significant life change, enters pretty much all of our heads at one point or another. I guess it's a natural progression once kids have left home, or like us, something significant happens, like the loss of a friend, that makes you sit up and think.
The messages I have received mainly seem to be about people wondering about life on 'the other side' and whether they should make the move at all. And, without a doubt, it is scary not knowing what your life is going to be like and whether you'll end up regretting the decision but there is a very simple way to get your head around things.
A little background first... I grew up in a loving, stable home in Buckinghamshire; youngest of three girls to a mother and father who both had good careers and where, to my untrained, young eye, money was never an issue. My childhood, for the large part was idyllic, playing in woods, roaming around the village until tea time, family parties, summer BBQ's.... our home was filled with love and laughter. I've had good jobs, a mixed career, lots of great friends and many happy times. I've been married before, but even the divorce was, relatively speaking, OK. We had no children to fight over and subsequently have stayed friends in the realisation that we probably never should have got married in the first place. As mentioned, my second marriage is amazing and I am very happy. We don't have kids, which was hard to come to terms with initially but we got through it together and now are reaping in the benefits of a childless family. The long and short of it... I have never faced any major adversity in my life. My parents are still here and strong and healthy; I have two fab sisters and a whole host of in laws who are a joy to be with, not to mention the most amazing mates in the world (you know who you are!!).
So.. back to the original question... how do you know that you won't regret the major decision that you are deliberating? The answer: You won't ever know... until you actually do it and most importantly, the longer you wait, the bigger the decision seems to become in your head and the more time you waste deciding verses actually living.
And here's the biggest crux... even if you make the right decision (to stay or go or whatever), who's to say life is going to go along with your plan? Life is an unpredictable, twitchy beast that can throw a curve ball when you least expect it. And if you are sitting there thinking that nothing dramatic like that ever happens to you... beware. Life can be a revengeful bitch so just when you think you've got it all figured out; you know where you want to be and who you want to be there with, and everything is going peachy... WHAMO!! She just comes and punches you right in the stomach... winding you so bad you don't know which way is up.
Don't wait for the right time, or the right age, or for when the kids have this or that or for when you have enough money or for when you retire... if you have something you want to do, DO IT! Take that leap of faith and just dive headlong in. Live your life as close to your dream as you possibly can (I realise this is not easy - reality is another bitch!). But just do it... please. For me. And if it turns out terribly, which it might, there are very few things in this life that you can't reverse or change tact so that it becomes good again. The time we have is SO precious. Grab it. Cherish it. Do everything you goddamn want to and do it now. Life doesn't wait for you. My point is, even if you make the 'right' decision, it might still turn out completely different to how you thought because you cannot predict how things will turn out.. there is no point even trying. You could be the best risk strategist in the whole world and still things could go in a completely different direction.. good or bad. You just don't know, so do it anyway!
I've read blog posts or little pearls of wisdom, like the one I've just written, before and whilst I agreed with their sentimentality it also seemed a bit dramatic and unnecessary. But trust me when I tell you it's not dramatic and it is entirely necessary. If you are ummming and ahhhing about a decision, make up your fucking mind and do it. And if you decide you don't want to do it.. that's fine too (woosy, but fine) but stop thinking about it and carry on with actually living your life and make sure, wherever it is, whoever it's with that it's the best at life that you can possibly do.. Anything short of that, then you are doing yourself a disservice.
Here endeth the lecture.
❤️
Well said👏🏼🥰🥰