It's amazing how time marches on. The weeks here are rolling by and I already feel that we are not making the most of the time we have. I think this is a pressure that we can all put on ourselves with ease... we must be doing something; we must be wringing the most out of this day and if we're not having a worthwhile experience then we are not living. This is amplified when you are not working. Your job, you can argue, is the reason you're not having the most amazing adventure today but that's OK because at the weekend, we'll do X, Y and Z. When you're not working there is no excuse.. you should be out there living your best life 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. It's utter bollocks and, quite frankly, an exhausting way to live. I am allowing myself days of nothingness... of pottering around, of doing my Interior Design course online (yes! I've started it! - I fear Mr M already finds me quite odious as I explain in depth what could be done better in every room we enter together.) And whilst we are not exploring Cornwall in the way we said we would, we will, eventually.
So instead, I can reflect on other things. Life can often veer off in a direction you least expected it to and it can take time to adjust to your new path. I think that's what we've been doing the last two months. Readjusting, reflecting and just being.. in lots of ways, it's been a complete joy to have that time, even if we haven't wrung the hell out of every second of every minute of every day. Just being is fine too.
Cornwall continues to be an absolute joy. If there were ever any hesitations about moving (which as you know, if you'd read this from the start, there were many), they have now completely dissolved. One of the nicest things about Cornwall life and a bloody awful summer is that when the sun does come out, even if it's for a couple of hours, we can grab the beach bag (yes, we have a bag ready prepared for an afternoon on the beach - bit like an overnight bag when you're expecting your first baby - sad, but true) and just head out. And if for any reason we can't, well then we just wait for the next time.
We've started to meet more people, which is a huge thing for me. Everyone seems so kind and lovely that I no longer worry about whether we will ever find our tribe... we will. They will find us some how and we have happy times ahead.
So, I must apologise for not writing for so long (I'm sure you've all been on the edge of your seats!!...not!), but bear with me.. There will be lots to write about soon and I have a feeling you are going to be very cathartic for me in the coming months... I'm going to need you!
But for now I'm happy in the knowledge that we've done the right thing. Cornwall is our home and I feel so grateful for that. If you are thinking about doing something, big or small, life changing or not but feel apprehensive about it, my advise is do it. Life is short.. maybe even shorter than you realise and if you're not sure how it's going to turn out, then the only way to find out is to do it. Take that leap, make the change, throw caution to the wind and any other cliche I can think of. Just don't procrastinate and don't stay in the status quo because it's easier or safe.... that's dull and could lead to regret. Just fucking do it... and if things don't work out, look for the joy. Little bits of joy are always there if you look hard enough and they make everything bearable.
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