Suspicions are a funny thing..although we know in our minds that there is no justification for them and that they hold no bearing in our actual lives, I couldn't quite shake the Magpie thing. Honestly, it was like it was stalking me.. everywhere I looked there was a bloody solitary Magpie! I even nearly ran one over on the A303 when we went back to Hampshire for a wedding, at the weekend. Although a friend who visited us last week did comment, however, that I may have placed the bad luck on myself as we have a framed painting of a solitary Magpie on our wall. Anyway, you'll be relieved to know that I have subsequently seen two Magpies together today.. TWICE! And I just saw 3 together. Little tinkers. I feel the spell of doom that it had placed upon me is now banished.. thank fuck!
I haven't been posting as often as I thought I would when we moved. The truth is, now that the emotional bit about leaving is out the way, we're having a really lovely time and life is great... where's the fun in writing about that... it all seems a bit smug, so I haven't bothered. However, there were two instances today that made me feel terrible initially and then inwardly laugh out loud (I realise that's impossible), straight after. I thought I would share them with you as my husband didn't see the humorous side at all and just thought I was being really annoying and selfish... there is merit in his thought.
The weather has been lovely today and when I went down to the beach to walk Mary this morning the sea was flat calm. This is perfect paddleboarding weather for me... for those of you who know me, will know that I've had a long suffering relationship with paddleboarding in which the sea has often won. The video clip below shows one of my first paddleboarding attempts, which, whenever I'm feeling low, I play as it always makes me laugh. For full effect, turn up the volume...
Anyway. You'll be pleased to know that I can at least stay upright now, which is a huge bonus, but is not the point of the story.
Today, as the sea was flat calm, Mr M and I decided to do all of our boring stuff as quickly as possible and then head down to the beach. At around 4pm, I strapped the paddleboard to the car and off we went. On arriving at the beach, paddleboard tucked under my arm, Mr M and I had a small discussion about which side of the slipway to position ourselves. A young father, with three children, numerous buckets and spades and a rubber dingy under his arm was doing a masterful job of herding his children as best he could up the slipway. Now.. for those of you not acquainted with a paddleboard, it is quite long and fairly solid. When deciding which side of the beach you are going to settle and you have a paddleboard under your arm, it is not a good idea to look one way and then turn and look the other... if you do, a Laurel and Hardy type scenario develops.. in my case, it was one of the small children that the paddleboard connected to as I swung round to assess the best possible spot on the beach, sending them face down in the sand. I was, of course, absolutely mortified! I apologised profusely to the father and in doing so, nearly knocked down child number two. He was, fortunately, very lovely about it... and it was only as I got back into the car to come home, an hour and a half later, that I got the fit of the giggles about it.
The second incident occurred whilst out on the paddleboard. Myself and another paddleboarder were privileged enough to have a very playful, jolly seal come and find out what we were up to, which was amazing. The other paddleboarder came back ashore and swapped with her husband who then came out to see if he could see the seal. After a few minutes of staring at a seal-less sea he started to turn back to shore and go back in. Literally, as soon as he turned, the seal popped up just behind him. I shouted wildly at him that the seal was right there... this obviously unnerved the poor fellow as he looked back at me and he fell right off his paddleboard...
Me: Oh! So sorry! Hope I didn't distract you too much!?
What a prick! (Me not him), of course I'd distracted him too much. He had a complete stranger shouting 'SEAL! TO YOUR RIGHT!' at him! Luckily, the seal was unperturbed by my shouting and the subsequent splash and hung around long enough for the gentleman to get himself back on the board (which he did with ease and grace, I hasten to add) and spot him.
(This was me paddleboarding this afternoon.. I told you it would seem smug. All future posts will be about something terrible, I promise)
Talking of getting back on paddleboards, I can't. I flail around in the water like a harpooned whale. No amount of kicking or trying to lift myself up helps. In fact, it only serves to tip the paddleboard on top of myself and make a bad situation just a little bit worse.
In order to overcome this situation, I just make it an absolute rule not to fall in when I can't touch the bottom. This has it's own limitations as I either just don't go very far or.... well, that's it actually, I just don't go very far.
This, I realise, is a ridiculous state of affairs and one that I am working to solve. Today whilst paddleboarding, I got into the water at a point where I could only just touch the bottome and then tried to get back on... it took absolutely bloody ages and I'm surprised no one from the shoreline called the Coastguard with the amount of splashing and dramatics that was involved. I did, to my amazement and delight, eventually manage to get back on and found myself flexing my arm muscles in a Popeye sort of way towards the beach, which, I realised as I was doing it, was to signal to any complete stranger who may have had their finger hovering above the emergency services button on their phone, that all of what they had witnessed was actually planned and most importantly, I was fine and had my dignity intact. As if, a: anyone was watching; b: my dignity was in tatters the moment I entered the water anyway and, hopefully, c: anyone gives a toss!
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